I am not one to talk much about my personal life publicly. In fact, it is very rarely that I even discuss my personal life with much detail to my closest friends. Anytime I do share something, it’s usually to one of my guy friends because most of the time they just nod along to the conversation or shoot through text messages like “That sucks.”. I like keeping things inside. I like keeping my private thoughts just like that, private. Keeping things private lately however, hasn’t been working out too well. Especially since I live alone and when you keep all the stuff inside that most people would confide to a best friend or loved one, well I’m not saying that I’ve begun talking to myself alone at night after a couple glasses of wine, but please call first before you visit.
I told myself from the beginning that I didn’t want my personal blog to turn into me complaining about life, but something bigger, but hell who’s to say the stuff I’m going through in life isn’t part of that bigger picture we all are moving through. So forgive me if I mess up this sharing thing right off the bat, but it’s new to me so I’ll try to get better as I go.
It’s Valentine’s day this week and of course the romantic comedy movies are in full supply on the TV this weekend. I’ve watched 4 already today. Let’s start by saying I understand these are just movies. Fictional stories meant to entertain and not real life, but a part of me still likes to think that somewhere these types of stories happen. Maybe there is a master plan for everyone to meet their one true love out there. Or maybe we all just getting our delusional daily dose of unrealistic fairy tale inspired love affairs to subdue us into always having hope in the world so that we are productive worker bees instead of a pessimistic race of unhappy, unproductive human beings. I might I be over thinking that one.
Honestly, I’m left with one question. How the hell do you people keep finding others out there that make you want to spend considerable amounts of time, let alone your entire lives with them?
My guy friends keep telling me I need a new approach. Though, I don’t know how many more approaches there are out there. I let the guy make the first move and we run into his ex-girlfriend and her new fiance on our first date. I make the first move and I’m told that I’m just not the type of girl for him but he really sees me as someone he can learn from because I have a lot of experience and knowledge. I’ve been told that I’m too emotional, too closed off, not pretty enough, out of their league, a drama queen, too easy-going, too career driven, not a normal girl, thinking of too many serious things and my personal favorite, attractively intimidating. I’ve been described so many different ways I’m not completely sure if I have any sweet clue how the opposite sex even sees me at this point. A very large part of me, really never wants to know.
Before someone says, you are only 27, it’s not a big deal. I know, please don’t give me the age lecture. I don’t need the age lecture. If you give me the age lecture I will pull out my yearbook and proceed to tell you every single person who is married with children. And not in my graduating class but the grade 9 kids, yeah that’s right who would 23-24 years old now. Unless you want an hour conversation of looking at wedding and baby pictures on Facebook, keep the age lecture tucked in your back pocket for now.
My point is, not focused on how much time is left in life to find someone, to get the family, to get the kids, to get all things that others seem to be succeeding at more successfully, but rather to bring attention to the pure and utter stupidity that is the experience of finding someone to love. I am not perfect, none of us are, but I don’t get why we judge so quickly when it comes to dating and love. One of my guy friends jokes that I fall in love with every boy I meet. I don’t think it’s that I fall in love with each one, but that I leave myself open to the possibility that it could go that way. I take my time, I try to get to know the guy before I decide. Knowing that personally I make horrible first impressions and take a really long time to open up to people, I assume the other person in the equation might be having the same experience. Maybe I shouldn’t make those assumptions, but it would be really awesome if the next guy I meet would. Until then, I will continue to watch my romantic comedies (#5 just started), drink my wine and contemplate my latest failed attempt at being the unwitting, heroine to that young, handsome leading man.
I am not one to talk much about my personal life publicly. In fact, it is very rarely that I even discuss my personal life with much detail to my closest friends. Anytime I do share something, it’s usually to one of my guy friends because most of the time they just nod along to the conversation or shoot through text messages like “That sucks.”. I like keeping things inside. I like keeping my private thoughts just like that, private. Keeping things private lately however, hasn’t been working out too well. Especially since I live alone and when you keep all the stuff inside that most people would confide to a best friend or loved one, well I’m not saying that I’ve begun talking to myself alone at night after a couple glasses of wine, but please call first before you visit.
I told myself from the beginning that I didn’t want my personal blog to turn into me complaining about life, but something bigger, but hell who’s to say the stuff I’m going through in life isn’t part of that bigger picture we all are moving through. So forgive me if I mess up this sharing thing right off the bat, but it’s new to me so I’ll try to get better as I go.
It’s Valentine’s day this week and of course the romantic comedy movies are in full supply on the TV this weekend. I’ve watched 4 already today. Let’s start by saying I understand these are just movies. Fictional stories meant to entertain and not real life, but a part of me still likes to think that somewhere these types of stories happen. Maybe there is a master plan for everyone to meet their one true love out there. Or maybe we all just getting our delusional daily dose of unrealistic fairy tale inspired love affairs to subdue us into always having hope in the world so that we are productive worker bees instead of a pessimistic race of unhappy, unproductive human beings. I might I be over thinking that one.
Honestly, I’m left with one question. How the hell do you people keep finding others out there that make you want to spend considerable amounts of time, let alone your entire lives with them?
My guy friends keep telling me I need a new approach. Though, I don’t know how many more approaches there are out there. I let the guy make the first move and we run into his ex-girlfriend and her new fiance on our first date. I make the first move and I’m told that I’m just not the type of girl for him but he really sees me as someone he can learn from because I have a lot of experience and knowledge. I’ve been told that I’m too emotional, too closed off, not pretty enough, out of their league, a drama queen, too easy-going, too career driven, not a normal girl, thinking of too many serious things and my personal favorite, attractively intimidating. I’ve been described so many different ways I’m not completely sure if I have any sweet clue how the opposite sex even sees me at this point. A very large part of me, really never wants to know.
Before someone says, you are only 27, it’s not a big deal. I know, please don’t give me the age lecture. I don’t need the age lecture. If you give me the age lecture I will pull out my yearbook and proceed to tell you every single person who is married with children. And not in my graduating class but the grade 9 kids, yeah that’s right who would 23-24 years old now. Unless you want an hour conversation of looking at wedding and baby pictures on Facebook, keep the age lecture tucked in your back pocket for now.
My point is, not focused on how much time is left in life to find someone, to get the family, to get the kids, to get all things that others seem to be succeeding at more successfully, but rather to bring attention to the pure and utter stupidity that is the experience of finding someone to love. I am not perfect, none of us are, but I don’t get why we judge so quickly when it comes to dating and love. One of my guy friends jokes that I fall in love with every boy I meet. I don’t think it’s that I fall in love with each one, but that I leave myself open to the possibility that it could go that way. I take my time, I try to get to know the guy before I decide. Knowing that personally I make horrible first impressions and take a really long time to open up to people, I assume the other person in the equation might be having the same experience. Maybe I shouldn’t make those assumptions, but it would be really awesome if the next guy I meet would. Until then, I will continue to watch my romantic comedies (#5 just started), drink my wine and contemplate my latest failed attempt at being the unwitting, heroine to that young, handsome leading man.