I sit here just before the sun decides to take its rest, letting the cool breeze wash over my body while the porch steps beneath me slowly make me regret not having a front porch swing. The smell of fresh cut grass is all around me helping me to fight off that sleepy feeling that warm summer nights’ bring. I sit here and I ask myself what brings us all to these moments?
Thinking of the past I wonder how much one choice could have made a difference in my life completely. 1 less than favored stand not taken, 1 boy not stupidly chased, 1 job not applied for on a whim, a million stupid awkward moments avoided, tears brought from profound pain held inside and love felt not shared out loud. If none of this happened, what would life be at this moment?
In talking about trying to figure out what life will bring next, a good friend (who I owe more to than I could ever explain to anyone) told me, “Sometimes that’s something you don’t figure out, sometimes it’s something that just happens.” He’s always been the smarter one and he definitely has a point that sometimes life just happens, but it’s all made up of these choices that we make on a daily basis. Life is just moving along trying to happen and we flip it on its head with our whims and desires. Desire isn’t the right word. Passion. We drive our decisions with our passions and the outcome of all those choices and passion is what makes up our lives. So yes, maybe life wants to just happen, but we’re here day in day out messing up its overall plan.
I’ve always been a passionate person, but lately I’ve been letting life led me. Content with what is happening so far and waiting for the next chapter, but what law in the world says we have to wait? Who says whatever deity or fate that is out there doesn’t need a little helping hand? Personally, I think what’s been missing lately from my life is that feeling like my passion is influencing some kind of change. Life happening is just fine, except when it makes you feel like you aren’t the one living it.
So I sit here, the air getting a little colder, the porch still uncomfortable and my mind racing with all the choices I want to make but have been trigger shy of lately and I wonder why we should ever let life hold us back from living the passion we feel right here and now. So my apologies to life for all the ways I’m going to screw up your plan in the future, but sometimes passion just happens too.
Next life choice, definitely get a front porch swing with lots of cushions.
