A few close friends have noticed that I’ve been quiet as of late. It’s amazing to have people who know you so well that they can not only tell when something is on your mind based on the words you say, but by the words you don’t. Finding those right words has been what’s kept me silent the last little while.

I’ve been listening to a lot of talk lately and almost always about speaking against things. Speaking out against bullying, against mental illness, against violence. It is amazing to see so many campaigns out there focused on bringing awareness to important issues, but there’s one part of all of these campaigns that troubles me. We keep talking about speaking out, speaking louder, raising awareness, making sure everyone knows we won’t tolerate these things. With the help of media, social and traditional, we’ve created very loud voices in order to speak with. I think this is great and I think this is amazing. However, my 3 years in social have taught me you need one thing for any good campaign, to start with listening.

It sounds cheesy I know, but it’s true and it’s something I think we’ve overlooked with all the talking we’ve been doing lately. So you’ve spoken up against bullying, so you’ve signed a petition to show your support, so you wrote on your Facebook wall it’s okay to have a mental illness, but when’s the last time you listened? And I don’t just mean walking up to someone on the street and asking them to share their life story, no I mean listening in the sense that you learn about the situation, you research and you read and get a sense for what it is you are speaking against. I don’t mean just reading the material that’s put in front of you, but spending some time and finding information on all aspects of the cause.

Take bullying for example. We all know what it is and have probably been on one side of it at some point in our life, but why do we call it bullying when what it is, is abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse are two of the most detrimental forms there are. The bruises don’t show, but trust me the scars caused by words stay much longer with a person. We would never tolerate someone walking in to a school or a workplace and punching someone in the face, so why are we still tolerating something that’s just as painful under the guise of calling it “bullying”. You’ll notice I said workplace because ladies and gentleman, just because we’re adults doesn’t mean we aren’t guilty of this same use of abuse. After all, where do you think our children are learning it from?

I am not trying to make light of the great efforts that are happening out there right now. I think they are amazing and the more awareness we have the better the world will be, but I’m just asking everyone before you share that tweet, like that facebook page or don that pink shirt, that you actually take some time and listen to the what it is you are lending your voice to. Educate yourself, ask questions, look around and make your own opinion.

If you are going to speak out for those who can’t, those who are abused, killed and trapped in their own minds, don’t you think you should make sure you know what it is they are hoping you will say on their behalf?