Love.
We all want this four letter word more than we will even admit to ourselves. We hunger for it, we plot for it, we fight for it, some even kill for it. If you had to explain to an alien what makes a human being a human being, the ability to truly love would probably be in your definition somewhere. So if we all need this, why are we such misers when it comes to giving it to others?
I have a theory, mostly built on years of being a mostly single female with majority male friends. The theory is:
We are all so afraid of messing up and making life uncomfortable that we don’t take the risks we should when it comes to love. It’s only when we overcome the fear of possibly messing up our lives completely that we ever fall in love.
I’ve listened and watched my guy friends date, break up and marry, secretly knowing all the things I do in my dating life were the things they complain about. Too needy, doesn’t need enough, talks too much, doesn’t talk, doesn’t put out, puts out too much, independent, not independent enough, cold, hot, skinny, fat, too smart, too stupid, too high maintenance, too much of a tomboy, too much, too little, too everything! We all have these expectations of what we need the person we are going to be with to be, but really when it comes to falling in love all that matters is what we feel for the other person. I’ve watched a few times now when the switch has gone off, say it’s the right person, right time, right situation but really what I think is, is reaching a point when the fear is just gone.
Love is crazy. Love is messy. Love is love. Without the fear of possibly hating the person you would have died for the minute before, then what is the point? What is the point of being able to love if we are too afraid to really dive in to it? What’s the point of being able to give love if we never do?