Why do we all hurt no matter who or what we get rejected by, even if it’s completely illogical? It doesn’t matter if it’s personal, professional or somewhere in between, we still all have adverse reactions to being told we’re not the one. It reminds me of the play The Lottery. Everyone was very disappointed when they didn’t get the honor of being stoned to death. Completely and utterly pointless, but we all seem to want what we can’t have even if it’s really bad for us. We all get frustrated when someone tells us no, sometimes it makes us push even more. Other times, it sends us in spirals of self-doubt and despair. So let’s have a thought experiment and look a few of the differemt forms of rejection with some suggested unhealthy and healthy ways to deal.
No Reason
Situation
Rejected without cause, explanation or reason. Generally there is a reason and the person doing the rejection is either too nice or too busy to say what it is.
Unhealthy Way to Deal
Drink copious amounts of your favorite alcoholic beverage and then telephone, text or visit the person who rejected you late at night to ask them why, crying optional.
Way to Deal
You could politely ask for the constructive criticism, or just tell yourself it wasn’t might be and find a better opportunity.
The List
Situation
Rejected with a list of reasons, sometimes in written form, that by the end makes you feel that you should probably reject yourself.
Unhealthy Way to Deal
Eat large amounts of ice cream, cake, candy and any other form of unhealthy food that eventually makes you not even look like yourself there by convincing you, you are not the person the list is directed at.
Healthy Way to Deal
Make your own list of reasons why you are awesome, then read them aloud to yourself in the mirror. Repeat as necessary.
The Half-Way
Situation
Not fully rejected, but not fully accepted. You’re left wondering where you stand, if you’re standing at all or if you just need to sit down.
Unhealthy Way to Deal
Camp outside the office or house of the person you are waiting on, playing the song Should I stay or Should I go with signs that say “Maybe is not an answer”.
Healthy Way to Deal
Resist the urge to stay around too long. While waiting a short amount of time can give the person time to re-evaluate, waiting too long will just cause you to make up unrealistic fantasies about that dream job, dream guy or dream life. Go out and make something happen instead.
The Ignore
Situation
You suddenly drop off the radar as if you never existed, never applied or were never an option.
Unhealthy Way to Deal
Become a stalker and make them notice you through any means necessary.
Healthy Way to Deal
Go do something that gets noticed by someone who matters. Forget the people who think you don’t exist, cause to them nothing is probably good enough.
I’ll neither confirm nor deny that I’ve done any of the above healthy or unhealthy ways of dealing with rejection, but hey they do say to write what you know so draw your own slightly implied conclusions. While you’re drawing your conclusions why not join in the fun and listed your rejection forms and ways to deal.